Okay, the title may be a bit misleading. We’re not (necessarily) talking about the world’s most sordid festivals here, but rather those where you’re most likely to get your clothes messed up. Keep your Sunday best well away from this lot…

La Tomatina

Touted as the world’s biggest food fight, La Tomatina reeks havoc yearly on the Spanish town of Bunol. Anywhere in the region of 50,000 revellers descend on Bunol to hurl squished tomatoes at each other (emptied out by the truckload in the town square). Tomato juice stains isn’t the only issue here: people are also wont to rip each other’s clothes off. Leave that Moss Bros suit back in the hotel…

Glastonbury

This year’s Glastonbury Festival is just around the corner. From it, we can expect top live acts, hordes of music fans, and the biggest mud bath of 2013. For whatever reason, even though it takes place in the height of summer, Glastonbury can never get by without a torrential downpour. When you combine that with hundreds of thousands of people trampling through fields, you get mud like you’ve never seen mud before. And believe us, that stuff stains. Oh, and if you don’t like dirt, it’s probably best to stay away from the Boryeong Mud Festival too.

Word Custard Pie Championship

Yup, the World Custard Pie Championship really exists. In fact, it claims to be inspired by our very own Charlie Chaplin, and takes place in our very own county of Kent (though people from all over the world get involved). Competitors join up in groups of four, and are judged on how many pies they can throw at each other in a given time. Apparently Pie ‘N’ Smash are the 2013 champions. Well done guys. Wouldn’t like to see the dry cleaning bill though…

Monkey Buffet Festival

Here is possibly the weirdest tourism stunt ever pulled. Annually, the Lopburi province, just north of Bangkok puts on the Monkey Buffet Festival; hungry primates numbering around 2,000 are let loose on a monumental buffet of fruit and veg. You can well imagine the upshot (it does indeed look like something out of the Jungle Book): well-dressed humans, stay well back!